Never Again
by ellieloves2read
Summary: Olicity's missing moments in between scenes. Angst first, romance later. Slow burn. Endgame: Olicity.
1. Chapter 1

**Never Again Chapter 1**

**Post 2x06 "Keep Your Enemies Closer"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

**"Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about" **

It was 11:42 pm and Felicity tried really hard not snorting out loud, _again!_ The point of the matter was that she misunderstood the sentence. When she first listened to the words coming out from those oh-so-gorgeous lips of his, she thought he was referring to her. _Boy was she wrong._

It was quite embarrassing really, thinking that he was referring to her. She asked for a time off of the foundry, to mourn over their never-to-be-had relationship. She arrived at her apartment 6 o'clock on the dot, took a shower, dressed in her oldest pajamas, and after a short trip to the fridge, she lay down to start the moping campaign.

Halfway through her new lovers, Ben & Jerry, she started dissecting his sentence. At first she felt both sadness and happiness. Sadness because they might never be an Olicity in the near future. Happiness because she was flattered, who wouldn't?

But again, halfway through that icy-cold goodness, it was like she had a rush of cold to her brain, which then ignited her little grey cells to start working, at last. "The life that he leads?" she parroted his words. She knew him, all sides of him. Not only that, she was helping him on his dangerous crusade.

She might not be able to use a bow or leap from building to building, but don't let it be said that she did not experience any dangerous situations. On the top of her mind, she was given a beware-of-explosion necklace, had a wonderful one-on-one evening with the huntress, taken to the back of an underground casino for a little tete-a-tete with the boss of said underground casino, faced an earthquake alone whilst being underground, leapt from an airplane and accidentally stepped on a landmine, attacked by wanna-be vigilantes during office hour, and was on a highly dangerous shopping excursion buying the-doll-maker-bait moisturizer.

Having stated all of the above, she reached a conclusion; he definitely was not talking about her! He said that what happened between him and Isabel meant nothing. He was merely explaining that he did not care for Isabel. So while he's still donning the cape, he would only go for women with a one-night-stand nature.

As for woman (future woman who shall not be named yet) that he did care about, he would not start a relationship with her because of the danger he might bring, cause of the life he leads. This of course did not mean Felicity; since she knew firsthand the danger he might and already brought to her life. Either they have a relationship or not, danger was part of the job descriptions. She already accepted that. She might not look it, but she was not a coward.

The knowledge left her feeling bereft. Oliver never did consider her as his could-be someone. It was all in her mind. She created a new world in which Oliver and she cannot be together because of his sense of duty and his need for her safety. The harsh truth was that that "someone" was never Felicity in the beginning.

It was all her fault. Her fault for thinking that his half and sometimes hidden smiles he directed at her meant something. That the amused looks he had given her had a different meaning. That his gentle touches meant anything other than just innocent gestures. Felicity Megan Smoak always learned from her mistakes. Never again would she be stupid enough to think otherwise.

Oliver must be so confused with her behavior. She must rectify the situation first thing in the morning. She will be back to be the best Girl Friday/IT Girl/Arrow Team/Friend he had ever had! That to-do list will be executed tomorrow. Tonight, she will complete the ritual known all around the world for a girl with a broken heart.

Tomorrow will be better. She will close this chapter of her life. She will try to be as happy as she can be. She will open herself to the possibility of another could-be love. She deserves to be loved with as much passion as the love she could give.

She just has to remember her new mantra, _never again_.

**Ellie:  
Thank you all for reading!  
Please review and share your opinions.  
English is not my first language and this is my first fanfic. Please be gentle. ('',)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Never Again Chapter 2**

**Post 2x07 "State vs Queen"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

Oliver was feeling restless. But for the life of him, he could not pinpoint the origin of the matter.

His mother's trial was surprisingly ruled in her favor. The Count had been subdued; he will no longer terrorize the city with Vertigo. Diggle and Felicity had recovered from their encounters with The Count. Yes, his mother might had been a bit reclusive after her trial, but that was not unexpected. Queen Consolidated was still in shambles and its journey back to glory was still far far away. And crimes in the Glades were rising, which required more of the Vigilante's attention. All in all, just another day in the life of one Oliver Queen.

He just had this feeling that something was missing. He sighed deeply and leaned back to stretch his rigid form. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Felicity walked down to her desk and started typing away on her keyboard. The sound was soothing and familiar. He could feel his body relaxing further. That was the case with Felicity, whether intentionally or not, she was always able to calm him down.

Two weeks ago he was dreading coming to the office to see her. Not knowing what she would do after their little confrontation the previous day. She surprised him when she said that even though she still thinks he deserves better than Isabel, she was sorry for making it all so out of proportion. She assured him that from thereon after she would never bring it up again. She smiled so brightly and so sincerely and went back to her desk leaving him speechless. If he saw her slightly-puffed eyes underneath her makeup, he did not voice it.

And just like that, Felicity was back. Back to her cheerful, colorful, no-filter-out-of-the-blue rambling self. She worked hard at both the office and the foundry. Even found the time to do some research finding some helpful material for his mother's trial.

He noticed she got out more frequently for lunch and coffee break with her old peers. She even once asked him to join, but he declined politely saying he's afraid her peers might feel a bit awkward going to lunch with the big boss. The office felt so lonely without her in it and so he called Digg a lot for lunch.

Even though they have put Russia to rest, he regretted not explaining it better to her. He was reverted to his old self around Isabel. He had an image to uphold, so he was acting as his playboy self. And when Isabel said she saw behind his facade, he panicked.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." He could not risk Isabel looking deeper into him. The fate of his company and more, rest on him being both Oliver Queen and the Arrow, separately. On top of that, he was high strung worrying about Diggle. To say that he was panicked was putting it mildly, so he decided to distract her from analyzing him. And seeing the smiles and come-hither looks she had been giving him, he decided to level up his charm.

Once their lips met, he knew what a mistake that was. He felt disgusted with himself. He may appear to look like a playboy, but doing the deed was another matter. He was no longer that man. It was literally hard, no pun intended, to close the deal. For once he was glad for his scars. They reminded him not to open his clothes, thus minimizing his contact with the viper. Still, he had to imagine another face, another set of lips, another scent. He closed his eyes for the whole ordeal.

Shame filled him when his eyes met with the shocked blue ones outside his hotel room. But they had work to do and she gave him a way out with the whole "what happens in Russia, stays in Russia."

When she finally confronted him that fateful day, bearing in mind his capability of sprouting the most outrageous excuses ever, he can only said that "it means nothing," and that in the moment he was unable to form a relationship with someone he could really care about. He was well aware of how cliche it was. And seeing the hurt and disappointment on her face, he was mortified.

He knew that she harbors some feelings for him. He also knew how damaged he was,…is. He was afraid her light would be snuffed out with his darkness. _How could he do that to her?_ She belonged in the light. She was the light. . He was unworthy of her. That was why he felt no remorse when he unleashed those arrows into The Count. He scoffed remembering her saying how sorry she was for being in trouble which caused him to break his vow of no killing. If only she knew how he wished he could just hold her then, looking so fragile yet so courageous wrapped under a grey blanket. Her hand was cold under his grasp. He knew he would kill again, if it meant saving her life. He would gladly give his own life for hers, his Felicity.

At that moment, he was stunned silent. He knew why he was feeling restless, what it was that was missing. By doing what he did and saying what he said two weeks ago, it was no longer important whether he was worthy of her or not, she had freed herself of him. It was obvious from the way she treated him these past weeks. He had been friend zoned.

Letting go of someone AND letting go of someone who then in turn let you go, were two very different things. The former gave you a feeling of self sacrificing for the greater good. The latter was …

Abruptly he focused his eyes on the girl, who will never be his. She had freed herself of him, which was good, for her. But selfishly he wished that he could just walk to her desk, grab her, and show her how he truly feels. Let her light his darkness. He knew they could be great together. They have the potential to be so much more… He was so afraid to even whisper the words "hope" and "love".

Unknowingly, he relaxed his grip; his palm was bleeding from the force of his nails. He might be far away from the island, but he was still lost.  
She was freed. He was not.  
He was … hollow.

**Ellie:  
I really hope you wonderful people who have reviewed, favourited, and followed this story are happy with my take on this. Thank you all for reading!  
Could I trouble you for a review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Never Again Chapter 3**  
**Post 2x07 "State vs Queen"  
**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

Felicity felt a shiver ran down her body. Gathering her newly acquired stoic mindset, she was able to remain stationary at her desk. Her fingers had stopped their light movement across her keyboard for two heartbeats before resuming their precise and definite tapping. Oliver's eyes were trained on her, yet again.

She steadied her breathing and tried her hardest to focus on the new computer program she was coding. Her hands were still tapping lightly, but she was certain that the codes she just entered might need a second look.

That was the second time today he focused his impossibly blue eyes on her. The first time she felt it, she thought he wanted to talk to her, but when she looked his way, he was looking down, reading a paper on his desk. This time though, she knew he was definitely looking at her. She waited, but he did not call her out.

Felicity was so confused. _That man was so frustrating!_ She felt liberated when she decided that Oliver was a closed chapter in her life. Not gonna say she was truly happy yet, but a smart girl knew when faced with a lost cause. _And she was a genius, goddammit!_

She refused to foolishly moon over Oliver when it was so obvious he would never return her feelings. Not that he was not worth the effort._ Gosh, no man was more worth it than him_. It was self preservation on her part. Pain was a thing she'd rather face on a physical level. Physical wound heals faster than an emotional one.

Talking about physical wound, she remembered the night Oliver got shot saving her. She was petrified that night, not for her life, but for his. She couldn't live with herself if she was the reason for his demise. It was her fault for getting caught in the first place. She should've paid better attention to her surroundings. Then Oliver wouldn't get shot and there would be no need for him to lash out a killing shot, or three shots as was the case with The Count.

He killed again, because of her.

She was thinking incessantly about him afterwards, worrying about his wound and being the cause of his broken vow. After she took care of Diggle and making sure a non-addictive antidote was manufactured for the masses, she was a downright mess.

She could only felt her body relaxing when she saw him entering the foundry, tired and weary, but very much alive and very much there.

He was confused when she started her apology. She could've sworn they had a moment of something right then, what with him looking at her so intensely and his hand warmly encased her cold one. But again, her mind was playing tricks with her. The moment ended as soon as it began, if it even began at all! _Damn her vivid imagination!_

Felicity closed her eyes and count to ten. "Never again, never again," she chanted quietly. She should just keep looking forward. There was no use looking into the past and misreading a situation.

Well then, she would only think of happy thoughts from now on. Given her previous numerous unlucky predicaments, she reckoned she deserves a treat. Maybe the universe will turn in her favor and flash down a hunk on her lap. Preferably not with striking blue eyes, such as the ones looking at her now.

**Ellie:**  
**Sooo, I think it was a bit unfair not to do Felicity's POV for 2x07.**  
**I'm excited for 2x08, that was the reason behind this chapter. What do u guys think? Should i just stick to 1 chapter per episode? Do let me know on your review, if you would.**

**Thank you all for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Never Again Chapter 4  
2x08 "The Scientist"  
**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

He had never met a girl like Felicity Smoak. There was simply no girl like her in Central City. He was even sure there was only one Felicity-Smoak-kinda girl in Starling City.

He remembered feeling both excited and nauseated when he first entered the Queen Consolidated Applied Sciences warehouse. That was a given, really, considering he was about to impersonate a CSI agent from Central City Police Department in front of what looked like a really scary-looking police officer and a humongous man in a suit. _Man, that man was huge!_

On top of that, he started babbling horribly about missing trains and traffic app and so on. Thus, it was also a given that THE Oliver Queen dubbed him a teenager, in need of parental supervision. Come to think of it, Mr. Queen was even more intimidating than the previously-mentioned humongous man.

Considering how pumped up he was with the possibility of finding the elusive case he had been searching for, he kept on the information-babbling campaign. He thought that the best way to avoid suspicion was to expel lots of information in the speed of light, in hope that they will focus more on the usefulness of having him in the case than wondering about his reason for being there. And also because once he started talking, it took some time for him to stop and simmer down.

The definition of a centrifuge was at the top of his tongue, ready to be launched to the aforementioned scary-looking police officer, when suddenly a blonde-haired-in-red-and-purple-wearing-dress…goddess, there was simply no other more appropriate noun to define her, beat him to it.

He was gob smacked silly. In front of him stood the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, sprouting the definition of a centrifuge exactly like the one he had on his head. He was totally out of it; he didn't realize he finished her last sentence of explanation. So when she said, "what did you say your name was again?" he was giving himself a mental congratulatory-self high five for gaining both her attention and her name, Felicity Smoak.

...

He was elated when she asked him to come to Mr. Queen's office to help with their in-house investigation. That would be his gateway to the case. If he was being honest, that was not the only reason he was feeling elated. A chance of seeing a certain goddess again might be enough reason. He just hopes she was not in trouble for inviting him there. Her boss did not look happy to see him. But then again, he did not seem like a happy person to begin with.

...

When they went to work at the warehouse, he just couldn't help himself. The need to be near her was intoxicating. He found himself orbiting around her personal space, a lot. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He was so nervous; he started ranting about the Vigilante.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but Felicity looked a bit distant in her conversation after that. Probably disappointed of meeting another Vigilante's fan boy, _which he was not!_ He was just fascinated and a bit hopeful of the idea of a vigilante, helping the people in need and such.

On another note, he could not believe he spoke so easily about his mother to Felicity. That was one of his unspeakable subjects. There was just something about her. He felt like he'd known her all his life.

She made him felt so comfortable around her, which was a good thing, but not when it meant losing his focus when Mr. Queen asked him about the similar case in Central City, in which he replied by saying, "it's similar. Has similar elements. A lot of similarities." Definitely not his brightest moment.

Despite his fear of being caught in his lies by Mr. Queen, who never stopped giving him the evil eyes, he still found himself gravitating towards Felicity. Especially after those very eloquent 'similar' comments, the comfort of their shoulders touching each other was liberating.

...

That feeling was soon shattered when Felicity mentioned that she rarely went home because she was with Mr. Queen every night. Even though she corrected her words and even said she did not like him, the image of them together was already painted on his mind. After all, it was more likely for her to end up with a man like Oliver Queen. He never stood a chance. That was not a surprise.

A surprise, though, was having Felicity rambling beautifully about having a work function, "a plus one", and how he, Barry Allen, would make a really good…plus one.

He felt like flying after that. Never felt a high like that before. Well, at least before he was smacked down back to reality by her boss. Then reality set it again and he was back to being the ordinary Barry Allen, an assistant, the son of a convicted felon who was charged for murdering his mother. It didn't get more twisted than that.

But wait; in his life it did get more twisted. Add to that his belief that his father was innocent and that all this time he was searching for a case to prove that the bizarreness of things that happened to him when he was 11 was in fact not that bizarre to begin with.

It was useless. He was devastated that he won't be able to get to the bottom of this case. This could be the case that would be the one. The one that he could make sense of, so that he could shatter the stigma of cases that nobody believes were possible. So that he could free his father and finally start finding his mother's murderer. His whole adult life had been so focused on that, he decided to lie and deceive people to reach his goals.

Imagine his surprise when he realized that he could do that to everyone else, as long as they're not Felicity, because he would never want to be the reason for the look of disappointment and sadness on her face ever again.

He knew he had blown whatever chance he had on the case and on getting to know Felicity. Once he said his apologies, he flashed down as fast as he could out of the office. He would go to the hotel and decide what to do next.

...

Once he got to the hotel, he checked his travel app for the train schedule. There was no point on him being in Starling City anymore. It's time to get back to his reality.

He was packing his briefcase when the telephone is his room started ringing. Only the people connected to the case knew where he was staying. He almost tripped on thin air in his haste on getting to the telephone.

He let out what he would call as an "unmanly gasp" when he heard the unmistakably voice of one Oliver Queen saying, "I understand the reasons behind your actions. You should still come to the party tonight. I know Felicity would be happy to have you as her plus one…" He paused before continuing in a deeper voice laced with barely contained threat, "treat her well. She deserves nothing less…" Barry could hear the "or else" not spoken but implied.

A call to the concierge was made to secure a suit and to extend his room. After getting ready, he hurried to the Queen mansion and found his eyes on two figures standing side by side in the middle of the room. Their bodies were far from touching, but there was a palpable tension of something, crackled in the air around them. He felt his heart fell to his stomach.

They turned to face him. Mr. Queen said something to Felicity and left her standing in the middle of the room smiling at him. Like gravity she pulled him in. He was powerless. If a dance was all he could get, he would dance to his heart content. She might not be available for a dance with someone other than Oliver Queen in the future.

...

His boss called him when they were back in the warehouse working on another lead. He was given a choice, get back soon or don't get back at all. He could not afford to lose his job, he had to go.

There they were, trying to say their goodbyes at the same time, when he felt a sudden urge to kiss her. She was looking at him with the same intent on her beautiful blue eyes. He knew she would kiss him back. It would be so easy, he just had to lean forward and kiss that delectable lips. But the image of them standing side by side tonight came to his mind. He hesitated and the moment was lost. So he simply said his goodbye and went on his way.

...

He knew he would be late. He just knew the train would have left minutes before he got there. That's what always happened to him. Only this time he didn't feel the disappointment of missing something. Somehow he felt that Barry Allen was exactly where he was supposed to be, at exactly the right time. Of course that was also the time he felt a prick of sensation on his neck and his world went dark.

**Ellie:**

**I decided to do a Barry's POV for the part one of two-part mid season finale. Considering the way they ended the episode, taking Barry's POV was so much easier than doing Oliver's or Felicity's. I hope no one minded and keep on reading.**

**Thank you again for those of you who have reviewed, favorited and followed this story. It was a joy to get notification emails of new reviews, new favorites, and new follows. You guys are the best! (o''o)  
**

**Would you mind review and let me know what u guys think about this chapter?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Never Again Chapter 5**

**2x08 "The Scientist"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.  
**

Technology meant different things to different people. For post-island Oliver Queen, technology meant having the ability to sleep in a well-adjusted-temperature room, a warm shower, and even the occasional holler of his alarm clock, which was preferable than waking up in fright.

Those everyday comforts were the things he missed most.

Now, as he was losing consciousness after being accidentally injected with an unknown dose of chemical, he was grateful for his comm. If this was truly the end for him, at least he was able to hear her voice, calling out his name, one last time…

...

(Days before)

The first time Oliver laid eyes on Barry Allen, he didn't give the younger man much thought. He was a CSI from Central City with vast knowledge about the current robbery case. It was good to have an extra head to solve the case.

When he and Felicity exchanged names, not to mention with lingering looks, Oliver decided that there was something shifty about him. He didn't like the way the boy was looking at her. He disliked him at once.

The current case was troubling enough, especially having seen the perpetrator shown that much power via the surveillance camera. He did not need an additional problem of worrying about the newcomer.

...

The same newcomer came into his office the next day with his carefree smiles and made Felicity chuckled. She had invited the boy, without Oliver's knowledge, to help the investigation in house. This meant that he would not be working from Starling City Police Department, but he would be working in his office, in close contact with Felicity.

When he asked her about it, she reasoned that forensic science was not her forte and that Barry seemed to know what he was talking about. They needed him to solve the case a.s.a.p.

Oliver felt that the word "need" was very much overrated. They didn't really "need" the boy that much. But he couldn't really say his objections, especially having seen the way Felicity looked at the boy. That particular look was usually thrown his way.

He was left speechless. Was the second part of her resolution to let him go had started?_ Had she really moved on?_

He couldn't really bear anymore to watch her rushed out of his office to the boy. Rain was pouring outside his window; the weather was as somber as his mood. He decided to focus on Diggle's question and hoped they were not dealing with 'mirakuru'.

...

He was right about the boy; Barry was hiding something. He asked Diggle to do some digging on him. He especially didn't appreciate Diggle's insinuation of the boy's intention. He would very much like to tear the boy away from Felicity. They didn't really need to be that close to each other while working.

But being the vigilante, he got urgent matter to attend to, a masked intruder to handle. And so he ignored Diggle's question and left him there to watch over Felicity, for her protection in case the intruder decided to come back. Definitely not because he was worried things would progressed between Felicity and Barry if they were left alone.

...

"I think our Miss Smoak is smitten."  
That simple sentence was more hurtful than his currently bruised ribs. Fortunately, Diggle's next sentence brought him a new perspective, "he's not who he says he is." So his gut feeling was right. He will deal with him soon.

...

Things went out of hand when he confronted Barry the next day. The truth was out and he realized how badly he screwed up. His jealousy had blinded him. _Yes, he admitted he was jealous_. There was no point in hiding it anymore, at least from himself.

He had taken for granted Felicity's affection. Their possible future was forever tainted by his reckless behavior. He had hoped for another chance; however unworthy he was to get it. So when another man showed interest on what could be his salvation, he went berserk.

That was why he was so glad when he found out that Barry had lied to them.

He couldn't be more wrong.

Like always, he was the one at fault. He was the one who kept on putting that sad look on Felicity's face. He really was unworthy of her.

He had 2 people to make amends to now. He would call Barry and re-invite him to the party tonight. He won't get in their way. If being with Barry was what would make Felicity happy, then so be it. He would be content in being her friend. He would cherish their friendship than none at all.

He kept that way of thinking the whole night through; when he saw her at the bottom of the stairs, looking so positively beautiful and so positively annoyed with him; When he stood next to her on the middle of the room, inhaling her intoxicating smell; When he pointed Barry out to her and left them to dance.

He kept his cool. He was in control.

...

Later that night, he rushed when Felicity called and urged him to go to the foundry. If he was a bit surprised and ecstatic when she told him that Barry had decided to go back to Central City, he didn't show it.

It turned out that Felicity had tracked the possible next robbery location. He must prepare for their next confrontation. He must not think on how beautiful she looked while voicing her worries for his safety. This was not the time. There will be time later.

**Ellie:  
I'm conflicted on whether I should post this or not. What do u guys think? Should I keep this chapter or delete it so that chapter 5 will be from 2x09 instead of Oliver's POV from 2x08?**

**Thank u for those of u who have reviewed, favorited, and followed this story ('',)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Never Again Chapter 6  
2x08 "The Scientist"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

Felicity was not the kind of girl that boys fawn upon. Her whole teenage years, she was this awkward-looking-antisocial girl. That was not her fault, mind you. She couldn't help it that she was way smarter than all of her classmates combined. They resented her for that because her capacity for truth and lack of brain-to-mouth filter made her intelligence shone out and her classmates felt less than.

It was a bit better when she went to MIT. There was the usual resentment because of her young age, but her brilliance was very much appreciated.

So when she got the job at Queen Consolidated, she was ready for anything. Well, anything other than having a seriously-hands-down-the-most-good-looking man handed her a bullet-ridden laptop. But she digressed.

Again, she was not the kind of girl boys fawn upon. She was also not the kind of woman that most men would fall head over heels for. That was a harsh reality she had already accepted. She was…, for lack of a better term, an acquired taste.

That being said, all of her past relationships were out of convenience. They were good men, came from good academic backgrounds with good prospects and so on. The only problem was that, "good" was not good enough.

Not that she was an expert in the matter of love. Far from it actually. But nevertheless, she didn't have to experience love to know that she wanted to be in love and to be loved in return. She just knew that love wouldn't settle for just "good".

She also didn't have the foggiest idea for the "how" and the "why" people fell in love. It was said that love "bites", so maybe somehow people just got bitten and that was it. The reasons would formulate themselves right afterwards.

As for her love life, or lack thereof, she was bitten with the kind of could-be-great love that was squashed at the bud before it could fully bloom.

She would never admit to being in love; it was easier to say that she was not given the chance to do so. Love or not love, a broken heart was still a broken heart. Letting it go was the only way she could heal.

That did not mean she would shy away from love. _I am not a cynic!_ She would just going to be threading more carefully next time around. And alas, an opportunity presented itself. Along came Barry Allen.

For a girl whose heart was on the mend, Barry Allen was like a soothing balm, a breath of fresh air. Just what the doctor ordered!

With each glances and shy smiles he sent her way, a girl couldn't help but feeling a bit flattered. He wore his heart on his sleeve. With him, what you see is what you get. There's no second guessing his intention. And Felicity could feel that he was drawn to her. Again, she could not help being flattered. It was so much better than feeling inadequate.

It felt good to be wanted.

...

From the very first day, their chemistry was off the roof. She found out that they could talk about mostly anything and still had things to say. She also found out that they really did like to gravitate around each other.

For a girl who spent her days in close proximity to two super attractive men who were unavailable to her (one in particular more than the other), day in and day out, Barry was like the Big Belly Burger with an 'OPEN' sign. All she had to do was just enter.

However, while she was being quite receptive towards Barry, Oliver was another matter. If she didn't know better, she would say that Oliver was being jealous. But she did know better, so jealousy was out the window.

After the truth about Barry was unveiled, it was clear to Felicity why Oliver was behaving like that. He could sense that Barry was hiding something. No wonder Oliver was quite hostile in his action towards him.

Though she might be disappointed with the way he handled things, she understood his need to protect his friends. With all that was going on, his lack of tact was understandable. Plus she couldn't really stay mad at him for long, especially after he re-invited Barry back to the mansion.

That moment when they were standing side by side on the dance floor, just before Oliver left her with Barry, she could yet again felt the pull of Oliver Queen. It was brief, just a fleeting moment, might be another product of her great imagination, as always.

While dancing with Barry, she could see from her peripheral, Oliver was talking closely to Isabel by the bar. She decided to just focus on her dancing partner and felt guilty for temporarily thinking of another man while dancing with him.

Barry had asked her before about the nature of her relationship with Oliver, and she replied by saying that she did not like him. She figured he won't believe her if he saw her spying on her boss who were talking to the woman viper.

...

Unfortunately they had to end the night early because Barry got a call from his boss. Since she still had to investigate the sedative lead, they decided to go to the warehouse.

His urgent departure then was unexpected. She thought that they might have more time to figure out what was going on between them. But that was not the case.

Somehow, during their goodbyes, she could felt a shift in the way he behaved around her. It was different than before. At first she sensed that he was going to kiss her. But then it was like a switch flipped in his head, like he was remembering something. And then he was looking at her like something that he could never have. Did she do something to indicate she didn't accept his feeling? She was so confused.

It was not supposed to be like that with him. She could read him just fine before. What had happened to change that? What was he remembering about?

No time to figure it out, he instructed her to follow up on Ketamine and left abruptly. Men are as confusing as women! She should swear off men forever and just love herself!

...

Later on that night, seeing Oliver laid immobile on the medical table, she was reminded on another famous saying about love, "love hurts". Because she was not the one bruised and unconscious, but her whole being was hurt.

She asked Barry to save her friend. But was that what Oliver was to her, _Just a friend? _She didn't know anymore. She just needs him to get up now. Just get up so she can breathe again.

**Ellie:**

**Thanks for all the support you wonderful readers have shown for this seriously insignificant story. It was just a blip on your radar, I'm sure. But I am so relieved and grateful that you like it.**

**Because of all the encouraging reviews, I decided to post this before 2x09. Will post chapters for 2x09 soon, especially during the holiday where there will be no episode T_T**

**Trouble you for a review? **

**Thanks again, truly.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Never Again Chapter 7  
2x09 "Three Ghosts"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

Oliver remembered the different ways his name sounded. There was the high-pitch "Oliver" when she was startled by his sometimes-sudden appearances. He would never reveal how many of those sudden appearances were deliberately done.

There was the gleeful "Oliver" when she was excited over things and wanted to tell him, which then turned into a long rambling scene. And there was the filled-with-annoyance "Oliver" when she was agitated with him. He tried to avoid that one; he certainly didn't want to get to the full-blown-angry "Oliver".

Then there was the "Oliver" spoken with a little raspy-out-of-breath sound, which was his favorite. Those he usually heard during his training sessions.

He could also count the times she frantically called out his name, asking him if he was alright. Those "Oliver" occurred mostly on his comm., during a mission. You would think that hearing someone yelling your name whilst fighting for your life would be a nuisance. You would be wrong.

Her voice, somehow, strangely comforted him. He liked knowing that she was there with him, while at the same time being far away from the danger he faced. Her voice grounded him, kept his focus, reminding him what he was fighting for.

With her voice accompanying him, he was never alone.

But there was one "Oliver" he would never want to hear coming out from Felicity's mouth. It was the one said with the utmost pain and anguish, urging for him to stay with her, unknowingly diminishing another "stay with me" spoken by another gentle voice. That was when he was jerked back to the land of the living and felt the crushing grasp of Felicity's hands on his left palm. She had anchored him to her. He fell back under right after, his body needed the rest.

...

He woke up feeling disoriented, charging the first person on his view, and getting on a "you have no right" debate with Felicity.

She said she trusted him; the boy who Diggle said had saved his life. He trusted him too, somewhat, albeit his previous deceit. But letting someone in used to be in his control. He didn't like knowing that Barry was now privy to his inner circles. And he simply didn't like the way both of them ganged up on him.

He felt bad for yelling at her like that. He knew she was doing what she thought was right. But she had not experienced the horrors still featured on his nightmares. She was not yet tainted by the darkness. That was why she believed in people easily; why she believed in him in the first place. He couldn't fault her for that.

...

Two things happened at once when he saw Shado back at his house. The first one was of course shock. The second one was remembering a memory of seeing and hearing her voice back at the foundry. She was asking him to just let go and stay with her. It would be so easy to just give in, if only he didn't hear Felicity's voice asking for the same thing.

He knew she must be some kind of a hallucination, because the last time he saw her, she was gunned down in front of him, just for the sake of a mad man teaching him a lesson. But still he felt the joy of seeing her there, the woman who brought some resemblance of happiness into his life on the island.

He would have given anything to be able to turn back time and save her. But he played that scene over and over again in his mind. No matter what, the outcome was the same, one of them would still be dead, and it would still be his fault, his burden to carry.

She urged him to let his bow down and take off her father's hood or everyone he loves will die. He didn't have the chance to reply because she was gone once Thea shattered the hallucination. He would have replied by saying that he couldn't do what she asked. He needed to do this. To do good to erase all the bad things he had done, maybe then his darkness will washed away.

...

He was told that his hallucination might be the side effect of the rat poison. That news, however, didn't faze him. What did startle him was Felicity touching his arm and asking in her soft comforting voice what he was hallucinating about. He was enjoying her warm gentle touch and so he answered accordingly.

He was quite puzzled to hear the annoyance in her voice when she was talking about the women he was marooned with. And then there was something about a fantasy island? He didn't really hear her right, he was still reeling from the burn he felt on his arm, even though the woman responsible for putting it there no longer holding her hand to his.

What was that about? He anticipated the burn. Lord knows how he burned for her. But he did not anticipate her jealousy, if that's what it was. He thought that now that Barry was still in town, they would kick start their barely-formed relationship. He knew they were getting closer and closer, despite his aversion to it.

Could she still hold some feelings for him?

Alas, time was not on his side. Felicity found Gold and Diggle volunteered to do some recon. He should have known better not to let him. It was a good thing Diggle made it out alive. Oliver did not need another blood to wash off his hands.

...

He went to the foundry to train and found some peace of mind, which was getting farther and farther away once he saw Felicity and Barry getting chummy there.

He told her he came down there for some privacy. He lied. He came there for comfort. He was so used of coming to the foundry and felt his body relaxing once he heard the sound of her typing on her keyboard, or humming a note he didn't know the title of, or better yet, hearing the joyous laugh she shared with Diggle.

She got up and prepared to leave to give him some privacy. What she didn't know was that he wouldn't mind training with her there. He preferred it, actually. But of course that was not something he could say to her, not when she invited Barry to the Big Belly Burger to watch the countdown of ignition of something. He was momentarily blinded with jealousy. Barry was once again privy to another place he assumed was theirs.

His jealousy died down once he felt her caressed his left wrist on her way up. Just a little touch from her warm hand, and he lost his track of mind. He wondered why. Not the part where he lost his ability to think whenever she touched him; THAT he knew why. But the "why" behind her needs to keep on giving him those touches.

She didn't usually do that. Most of their shared touches were practical. They spent most of their times together, of course there would be touches here and there. And given the fact that what they were doing was dangerous, he was used on her touching his body when he was injured.

But these touches were different. She touched him as if to assure herself that he was there, to connect herself to him.

After months of being friend zoned by her, he found himself hoping that maybe Felicity had decided to give him another chance. A chance for him to make himself worthy of her.

Of course that was the time the universe decided to send him another blast from the past, in full blown hallucination mode, not like when he saw him on the rooftop before. This Slade felt real, saying the things Oliver only thought about. How he was a coward, a weakling, a taker of lives. He let the hallucination ran its course. He couldn't defend himself against Slade's hurtful but true words.

...

Back at the now mess-up foundry, Barry was telling him what he already suspected. His hallucination was not a side effect of the rat poison, it was psychological. Of course it was, just another thing to add to the list of his craziness.

To make matters worse, Lance received the full brunt of Oliver's incompetence. He tried to assuage his guilt, but Oliver knew better. He had failed, yet again.

Diggle said that his hallucinations, his ghosts, were there for a reason. He just had to figure out what they were trying to tell him. If only it was that simple.

...

He was bruised and battered, but he never felt more alive. Gold was dead, the centrifuge and the serum was destroyed. The most important thing of all, Roy was alive. He made a mental note to keep an eye on him in the future.

What's more, he finally understood what his ghosts were trying to tell him. They were all the representation of his psyche.

Shado was the representation of his fear. He wielded his bow to correct his father's mistakes and to clean the evil from his city. He donned his hood to protect the people he loves from receiving the impact of his actions. She was the reminder that he could bring death to those he loved, like he did to her.

But that was the old Oliver. The new Oliver knew that there was always another way. Felicity told her that once.

Slade was the representation of his guilt. His guilt for not being able to save Shado, Slade, and many more after that; His guilt for being a coward and turned his back on those who needed his help. His guilt for not being strong enough.

He could never redo what had happened. His mistakes would always haunt him. Slade was right; he was trying to atone for his sins. He remembered Felicity once said that this city needed him. He refused to let her down.

Tommy was the representation of his determination. It took him losing Tommy to realize that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried; sometimes things were out of his hands. This did not mean that he should give up. What it meant was that despite all the fears and guilt, which would always be there, he should never stop fighting for the people he loves.

Those were his mindset when he saw felicity rushing to him with her out-stretched hands. He hugged her closely, passionately embracing the warmth she exuded.

Things would change in the future between them. And after she put the mask on his face, he was determined more than ever to be the hero she deserves.

**...**

**Ellie:**

**Sorry I missed my usual posting schedule. I was too hyped with the episode! Lost my track of mind.  
**

**Please let me know what you guys think about this chapter?**

**Thanks again for those who had read, reviewed, favorited, and followed this story (o''o)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Never Again Chapter 8  
Post 2x09 "Three Ghosts"**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

In the work zone, an under-pressured Felicity was a force to be reckoned with.

Yesterday someone tried to hack into the Queen Consolidated mainframe. She might no longer be working at the IT Department, but no one could blame her for rerouting and duplicating the intruder alert notification to her desk 18 floors above.

She alerted the IT Department, just in case they missed the notification, and deflected the hacker's effort in record's time before they did. No holiday for the wicked.

It was a good thing her relationship with some of her old peers was getting better. They no longer resented her for her 'promotion' as the CEO Assistant. _They called THAT a promotion?_

They were so grateful for her help, as a thank you, they invited her to an all-treat-free lunch today, which she accepted happily.

When she told Oliver she was going out because her old peers were treating her to a free lunch for her magnifico win over a hacker, which she accentuated with a fist pump, he looked so forlorn with the knowledge of having to eat lunch alone.

She would have invited him to tag along, as usual, and he would have declined by saying, "they might not like eating with the CEO," as usual. But since they were treating her for lunch, it would be awkward if she brought along another person. It would be like being invited to a party with no mention of a plus one and showed up at that party WITH a plus one. She wouldn't do that, Felicity Smoak was brought up with good manners, thank you very much!

She didn't like that look on his face. He looked so desolate, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't even suggest him to call Diggle for a lunch together because they knew he was out with Lila today, who had taken her annual leave earlier this year.

This was definitely "a rock and a hard place" situation. She was closing the glass door of his office when he surprised her.

"I don't think people will see me as a good CEO if I don't treat my IT Department after their brilliant save today. I should go with you and treat them all to a wonderful lunch, as my appreciation for a job well done," he said eloquently with a little upturned on the side of his mouth. _Was he smirking?_

Felicity could have sworn she was gaping like a fish! A brilliant "huh?" was let out from her still gaping mouth.

Oliver didn't give her time to respond more than that. He got up from his chair and walked to her with a stride only Oliver Queen could pull off. The smirk was more prominent once he saw the still shocked feature on Felicity's face. He turned her body, closed the glass door and led her to the elevator by pressing his right palm to the small on her back.

He kept his palm there the whole time on the ride down. Her whole body was on fire, the center of it was focused on her back. She found herself having difficulty to breathe. The air in the elevator was suffocating with tension. Their eyes met through the long mirror and she gasped. He was looking at her with an intense fierce gaze. Oliver never looked at her like that!

The soft ring of the elevator alerted her that they have reached the lobby. The tension dissipated once he removed his palm from her back and she could breathe an air not diffused with, dare she said, sexual tension.

Her peers were grouping near the entrance. They were quite shocked to see her WITH Oliver Queen coming unto them. Her brain decided at that moment to take a long time out, she didn't know what to say.

As usual, it was Oliver to the rescue. So befuddled, Felicity could only hear snippets of the conversation. He managed to make them all eating out of his hands. His charm level was put on high. There was pride shown on their features when Oliver congratulated and thanked them for a great job well done. Some even cheered when Oliver informed them he would take them all to a congratulatory lunch.

She remembered walking to a little trattoria on the next block. She remembered replying to her peers when they engaged her in a conversation. She remembered Oliver opened the door for her and guided her in with another gentle push on the small of her back. She remembered how he pulled the chair out for her to sit and she remembered they way he fleetingly caressed her shoulders after she was seated. She remembered him being attentive the whole time.

Remembering and believing were two different things.

...

She was just back on her desk when she received the messages from her peers. There were all complimentary on her boss. How wonderful their CEO was. And some requests for her to pass on their thanks for the lunch.

She was still reeling from the whole thing; she didn't hear him calling out her name.

A burning touch on her left shoulder startled her. When she looked up from her phone, Oliver was leaning over her with a worried look on his face. His right hand was on her shoulder. _Go figure_.

He asked if there was something wrong, since he had been calling her name three times with no answer. Felicity bit her lower lip before a barrage of questions were let loose from her mouth. She shook her head and just informed him about the messages from her peers.

He nodded to let her know he accepted her answer. She knew he suspected there was something else. And she was grateful he didn't pressure her to get it. She was not ready to make a fool of herself again over Oliver Queen.

And then he told her he had received an invitation for a charity function Christmas party at the Starling City Children Hospital, which ended with an "I want you with me...I mean, I need you there. Uh, you will be there, right?"

Felicity never had the privileged of seeing a flustered Oliver Queen. He had a round of hallucination last week. She thought maybe it was infectious, because this must be a hallucination.

The office was silent. She didn't reply because she was waiting for the Hallucination Oliver to disappear. When he straightened his posture and loomed over her, she realized he was not a hallucination and let out another brilliant "um, yes?"

Oliver just nodded, smiled a little, and went back inside.

Felicity was the one flustered now_. What an infuriating man!_

Ever since that night at the foundry, four nights ago, Oliver had been different towards her. She just didn't know why.

He had managed to destroy the serum, defeated Gold, saved Roy, and overcame his hallucination fiasco. She could feel her face getting warmer when she recalled how tight she hugged him when he got to the foundry.

That night was a win for Team Arrow. But she wouldn't want to relive the previous week again. She still could feel the despair of seeing Oliver on the medical table. The fear of losing him was so immense, she couldn't stop calling out to him to stay with her.

Thank goodness Barry was there. She would forever be thankful for him saving Oliver.

She remembered the moment he went back to them. Both of her hands were holding on to his when she felt him squeeze back. She knew then he would be okay.

But she couldn't stop herself from touching him every now and then. She just needed to see and feel that he was alive and well, warm and breathing.

And then that night when she mauled him under her hug, she was just so relieved he was okay. He left without promising he would be back, of course she was a lunatic while he was gone. He was off fighting with the same monster that got him crashing on the medical table. Can't blame her for voicing out her relief in the form of a hug, right? _Right._

_Enough reminiscing_. She got urgent problems to attend to. She only got one this morning, and that was to make sure Barry was alright. The last time Felicity heard from him was four nights ago. He kinda said he would be available should she chooses him over Oliver. It looked like he really didn't believe her when she said she didn't like Oliver. After that, there was no communication whatsoever between them.

Other than that, she had to find a gown to wear for tomorrow night and most importantly, she had to figure out what was up with Oliver. Because if Oliver kept treating her like this, she was afraid she might reverted back to the Felicity of before.

She refused to go back to that Felicity. That Felicity had both of her eyes closed to the reality. She was a fool, pining over the impossible, and got her heart broken as a result.

A new year was coming. The new Felicity won't settle for a consolation prize. If Oliver wanted her, then he should step up and said so. She wouldn't settle for less. Let the chips fall where they may.

**Ellie:**

**A little fluff for you guys. This takes place 4 days after "Three Ghosts". Notice the Post 2x09 above?**

**Someone pointed out to me that this story was too canon. Well, I felt the need to explain. I first wrote this story not because I wanted to change the way things happened on the series. We fell in love with Olicity because of the series, I would never want to change that.**

**What I did was, I added what I think as a should-be-there emotions behind the characters' actions and a should-be-there way of thinking that was focused more on the relationship between Oliver and Felicity.**

**I wanted for Oliver to incorporate Felicity more into his life, and vice versa. You could say I exaggerated what happened in the series and made my own interpretation.**

**For example:**

**Chapter 7 ended with Oliver "determined more than ever to be the hero she deserves". It was the hope in me that wrote that.**

**Again, can't say enough how grateful I am to have wonderful readers who kept on reading and reviewing this little story.**

**Please review so that I can know how much of you would like to see the Oliver's Chapter for the day of the Christmas Party.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Never Again Chapter 9  
Post 2x09 "Three Ghosts"  
(Let's say this took place after Christmas, before New Year)**

**Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.**

Oliver knew he would have to double his routine workout for this. The amount of sugar, artificial and what not, in these super delicious cookies, was off the roof.

However, the damage was already done. One hesitant bite days ago and he was hooked. He was now down to the very last piece, which meant that nine were already down the hatch.

Nine cookies equaled to eighteen workout sessions. He was not exaggerating things. He was very particular in what he put inside his body. One cannot expect to leap from building to building by stuffing one's mouth with these should-be-illegal cookies without some repercussions afterwards. In his case, a butt load of workouts. He also didn't want to have to procure another set of his Arrow outfit. He could just imagine what Diggle would have said to that!

His line of thoughts was temporarily distracted with a little smile. Oliver remembered a moment, felt like ages ago, when Felicity blurted out an "I noticed" which she completed with her trademark lost-in-la-la-land looks, in response to his statement of being particular about the things he put inside his body.

Like clockwork, a familiar ache came knocking.

Oliver took a deep breath to try to diminish the sudden tightness in his chest. It happened a lot these days. He didn't know whether it was induced by the holidays or the upcoming New Year, but he got whiplash, from smile to cringe, every time he remembered a little tidbits of the things that had come to pass.

This ache, he reckoned, was induced with the acknowledgement that he was missing that kind of moments with Felicity.

In the past, she was like an open book, whether she wanted to or not. Her ramblings tended to give the truth away. No matter how fast she reined it in, her ramblings let out the thought she was thinking at that moment, no filter on sight. Most of those happened due to his close proximity.

He remembered the moment when it all changed, when Felicity became more guarded in her reactions around him, in her reactions _toward_ him.

It was like a filter had set in. She reined herself faster than before. He could almost see the brief period, in which she analyzed her string of thoughts and changed it into a different response.

The change was subtle. Other people might not notice it. After all, she still let loose lots of inappropriate things to say in inopportune moments, like that time with his mother after her indictment.

But for Oliver, there was something missing.

His wrongfully-executed decision in Russia had elicited a need for precaution on her side; Precaution from him.

He breathed deeply again to ward off another case of tightness in his chest. This was becoming annoying. A physical ache he could handle. He knew his threshold of pain, he had dealt with most injuries but a shot to the head, and he survived them all. Just his luck that the one pain he could not survive was the one he inflicted on himself, by taking things for granted; took her for granted.

Oliver diverted his attention to the last gingerbread cookie he was holding, trying to savor the moment before that first bite. It was by far the cutest gingerbread cookie he had ever seen (he sent a brief prayer for no one living to ever know that he used the word "cutest" to describe a cookie). He blamed Felicity for that.

...

He was walking her home that night after the surprisingly delightful Christmas party at the Starling City Children Hospital. She argued that it was just a short trip from the car to the lobby and up to her apartment; there was no way any mischief could have happened to her. But he insisted and she gave up.

He found himself distracted by the smooth expanse of the back of her skin in contrast to the red dress she was wearing. It was the second red dress he saw her in. The first red dress she wore on their mission, he was more focused on being worried for her safety to really see how the color brought out a certain glow to her skin.

This time around, he had the time to really appreciate the beauty that was Felicity Smoak.

The dress was accentuated with a little sleek bow under the small of her back. Like a Christmas present waiting to be opened. Oliver found it difficult not to reach out and tug it open, to see whether the bow was just a decoration or the thing that kept the dress together.

His control had never been so tested before. But he knew he had a long way to go before he could be like that with her. He needed to break through her carefully-constructed wall toward him first. To show her that he would never again take her for granted.

That's why he tried to include himself inside her world persistently. Started with the lunch they had together with the IT Department and his seriously-so-not-smooth invitation to the Christmas party. He made a mental note to channel his inner Oliver Queen more, because it turn out that _now_ Felicity had the power to reduce him to a blithering idiot.

So distracted was he with her back, that he had failed to notice that Felicity had opened the door to her apartment, called for him to wait up, walked in, grabbed something from the coffee table and turned to face him with a startled amusement on her face after seeing that not only had he followed her inside her apartment without being invited, he was also standing so close to her personal space.

Oliver was equally astounded that he had kept on following her without realizing it. Again, it was proven that the hold she had over him was stronger than before.

He didn't know what to say, so he just looked at her like nothing was wrong. Never mind the surprised look on his face previously and the state of him standing so close to her.

Apparently Felicity found this amusing and she smiled at him while shaking her head. She then extended her hand and entrusted him with a box shaped like a gingerbread man with a softly spoken "Happy Christmas".

"I really don't know what to give the man who could have everything he wanted," she started. "But then I remember our line of work and how hectic and gloomy everything has been these past months. I always found comfort in cookies, as long as they're free of nuts, that is. I'm a bit of a cookie monster," she explained with the smile more pronounced on her face.

"I have a feeling that something is coming our way," Felicity continued with softer voice. "So when you feel that you wanted comfort, and you don't know who to talk to. Because, let's admit it, you are no sharer, that's for sure. I just..., I just wanted to give you a time out."

She took the box back from Oliver and hoisted it upon his face. "See how cute this is? Inside you will find ten delicious individually wrapped cookies shaped exactly like the box. At first I bought it because of the box. It's the gingerbread man from Shrek. And he was a cutie! The gingerbread man, not Shrek!" She flustered.

"Anyway, after I tasted it, I went back and bought another box for you. Okay, maybe not just one. I bought two more. A girl got to have a spare, you know. Sooo, anytime you're feeling gloomy, just open the box, have a bite and just enjoy. Life's more tolerable with cookies."

...

He was dumbfounded then. He was dumbfounded now. A connection was just made; Felicity was on her well-deserved holiday after that night. He was down to the very last piece of his batch. He consumed one cookie every day since he got them. It was no coincidence that today was also the tenth day of her leave.

He needed comfort for the day he didn't spend with her.

Felicity Smoak was very much like the gingerbread cookie he was holding, only backwards. He had to give out twice, if not triple the effort to be able to win her, to consume her. But like the cookies he had come to cherish, she was worth the effort.

**Ellie:**

**Would love to hear your review on this chapter. I was aiming for a little fluff.**

**Hopefully this chapter and the previous one would still line up with the next episode. If not, then I'm in deep sh*t.**

**Thanks to **_**Olicity Lover**_** for reviewing all of my chapters. I was dumbfounded (like Oliver) after reading all of your reviews. Reviews made my day; truly made my day!**

**Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, favorited and followed this story.**

**Happy New Year to all. Cherish your loved ones. Embrace your families. Be grateful for your friends. And just live your life to the fullest!**


End file.
